My Delusional Reality

Slap That Baby Make Him Free

I am now the proud owner of Labyrinth!  Someone actually listened to me and bought it for me.  It was a very nice surprise.

I had a really nice weekend, I even learned a few things that I'll share with you.

1. Howard Johnson is no paradise, no matter what the address is. On the upside, while I was in the "lounge" at 8:30 Sunday morning, I asked the attendant when I could get a beer. His reply: You know what city you're in? You can have a beer whenever you want. What did I say to that? I'll take two.

2.  Don't drop your full beer.  Especially on an irate Indian guy.

Irate Indian Guy(half-yelling): Excuse me, ma'am, you spill beer.  You ruin my dress.

I stood there quite confused; this man was not wearing a dress.  Neither was his wife.  He began again -

IIG: You ruin my dress!! Why you do that? What you do?

I see the spot of beer that "ruined" IIG's "dress".  Smaller than a quarter.  I had beer all over my ass.  IIG pissed me off.

Irate Crazy Bitch: You think I dropped my fucking $5 beer on purpose, buddy?  I don't think so. It was an accident, so sorry.

IIG:  You ruin my dress.

Apparently this phrase is all the English that IIG can offer.  I let him have it.

ICB: What the hell do you want me to do?  It was an accident, do you understand that?

At this point I decide to walk away. I had to take my empty beer bottle back to the bar in order to resist smashing it over IIG's head. Or before I slapped that bindi of his wife's forehead.

Have Fun Bitches!

I'm going to see my gal.....maybe I'll be nice and post pictures when I come back!  :)

Sitting Pretty

 

Originally uploaded by Jennifer Lynn.

 

Jared snapped this picture while I was taking a much needed rest. We walked ALL over Paris, needless to say, I was exhausted every night!

Home at Last

Well I finally made it back home; the instant I walked out of the parking garage and into the smothering humidity I began getting sick instantly. I spent the rest of the weekend sleeping on the couch. I must say I wasn't excited to leave but I missed everyone here and I guess there's no place like home. That still doesn't mean becoming a prostitute and moving to a nice little window in the Red Light District is out of the question.

He, he, he .....prostitute.....I've got a few story about that subject and my trip. That could be breaking the "what happens on vacation, stays on vacation" rule. But hell....I break all the rules so stay tuned for that story. I can't give away all the juicy details at once.

Jared and I had a blast while we were away, it was a nice balance of partying and site seeing. I think we hit most all the main museums in both Amsterdam and Paris. Anne Frank's house was chilling, I was crying by the end.

I took a ton of pictures, mostly architecture, sculptures and paintings from the different museums we went to. There are quite a few pictures from atop the Eiffel Tower and from the Bell Tower in Amsterdam. I'm uploading Jared's pictures too...he snapped several hundred. I plan on posting a few of the good ones on my blog in a few minutes and the others you can find here on my flickr page.

 

Doing What I Do Best.....

As Always

Totally Legal

I didn't even break the rules here!

It was so awesome to walk in, look at a menu and BUY whatever I wanted!  A pothead's dream come true!

Pink Lady

Only in Amsterdam

Amsterdam

Good Times

I'm Not Leaving

Wow...just wow! I can't believe some of the things I've seen and done in this city. I absolutely love it here and I never want to leave. Maybe I can get my company to go international.... or maybe I'll just have to work in the Red Light District. Either way, I'd love to live here.

For starters, I've smoked some of the greatest shit in my life, gotten pretty damn drunk on some really good Dutch beer and I've gotten a tattoo. A tulip (of course)! I figured it was better than a marijuana leaf...and I want to remember this trip everyday for the rest of my life - in my opinion there was no other way to properly commemorate my trip!

Jared and I have discovered that what happens in Amsterdam, stays in Amsterdam. Not everything, but some things! ;)

I put my tongue on a huge penis, I'll post the picture when I get home! We've been to some sex shows....I may or may not have gotten on stage and eaten a banana from somewhere....hummm.....not sure! ;)

Ok, I'm off to party on my last night here!

Ha Ha Bitches!

I made it here to Amsterdam; as many requests as I had, there were no stowaways in my luggage!

I've not had a chance to do much yet as I'm waiting for Jared to get here so that we can have fun together.

It's party time!!!