My Delusional Reality

Self Help 101

He's gone and done it again.  I have a feeling I'll be adding this one to my personal list of favorites.

I'm not usually so pathetic (or am I?) that I need to buy books on relationships, but considering my lack of luck in that department as of late, maybe I should buy them more often. We'll see.  The first book he wrote, "He's Just Not That Into You" was hysterical.  Most of it common sense but still nice to see typed up laying in front of you with a pretty dust cover. 

The Best & Worst Book Ever Written

Page 23. Damn you, Page 23. If you weren't one of the most straight-forward and hilarious books I've ever read, I would have taken you to Half Price Books and parted ways long ago.

This is what you've got me thinking about.....

He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You

Men know how to use the phone.

 

Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pockets when I don't even mean to. We may try to make you think differently, but we men are just like you. We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. It makes us happy. And we like to be happy. Just like you. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

"Sometimes I call people from my pants pockets when I don't even mean to".    I love that.

Why do I read books that make me feel like "that" kind of girl? What is it about me? I'm very independent, quite confident and rather secure with myself - I guess when I find something I really, really want it scares me.

Woah...that is it. It scares the hell out of me because I care
about the outcome. Hummmmm. I guess, in this case, that's a good thing.

Uuuughh....maybe I should just quit reading.

I don't know if I

I don't know if I should be embarrassed about this or not but I enjoyed Mariah's comeback performance on the MTV Movie Awards tonight. Oddly, I thought it sounded pretty damn good.

It was quite the production tonight, when Katie Holmes presented Tom Cruise with some ridiculous reward, she bowed down to him. Come on now, I'll admit, he even had me at hello but give me a break! I think she bowed down to take the emphasis off the fact that he's quite a bit shorter than her.

There was even a reunion of The Breakfeast Club cast - sort of. Molly, Ally and Anthony together again. Ally looked strung out to me, she danced around like she was waiting for her next fix. It's hard to believe that was 20 years ago.

At least Napoleon Dynamite won best movie.

Now that I think of it, I'm embarrassed that I even watched the award show to begin with. What's worse, I watched the Brittany and Kevin reality show beforehand! Ha! Talk about quality programming.

In fairness though I wasn't paying attention the entire time. I've been reading this book that I can't seem to put down. Every woman must read this book. I love it, I may put it under my pillow tonight. The book is titled Cunt and it will forever remain a favorite of mine.

I'm buying copies for all the women in my life tomorrow.

Fetish Blonde

As I was cleaning the house Sunday, I noticed one of Jared's books sitting on the shelf. I picked it up, turned to the first page and sat down right on the floor in front of the bookshelf. I didn't move from that spot, it was such a page turner and three hours later, I had finished the book. The first page started out unlike any other book I've ever read....

Holding the gun in my left hand, I stuck the barrel between my teeth and half-gagging on it, I placed the steel muzzle against the roof of my mouth. Without hesitation I slid my right thumb into the guard and pushed the trigger.

The hammer snapped but the shell didn't fire. I held my breath, unmoving for moments, tasting metal and oil and a sudden nausea. My heart started pounding against my ribs. Its loudness beat in my head as if knuckles were knocking on bone. I hadn't wanted any thought - any pause; no second thinking in the process of blowing my brains to the far side of the sun.

Fetish Blonde, John Gilmore,  1998

This is definitely one of the more outrageous books that I've read, very dark with graphic depictions of sexual sadomasochism. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen next. This book is not for everybody.

Weight Loss 101

After watching the movie Supersize Me, I have sworn off fast food. Two months later and 25 pounds lighter, I'm still going strong. Never again will McDonald's french fries pass through these lips. I refuse to let Corporate America poison my body with what they try to pass off as food. Morgan Spurlock's movie and Eric Schlosser's novel Fast Food Nation have completely changed my life.