My Delusional Reality

I Like Girls that Like Girls

Also titled: Damn Straight Girls! (Especially those that don't put out!  )

I had a good night last night, granted I was an hour late for work this morning.  Job security is a beautiful thing!

I went to the pool for a few hours with Sarah.  She says she's straight - I don't know about that!

Then I met Jared up at the bar, I have the most fun when I'm with him.  He's so stupid - check out his beautiful earrings!

I had been quite good until last night. Sweet Tits has her name for a reason! ;) All my roomies have to do is say, "Jennifer, show me your tits!" and up my shirt goes. As you may know, I dated a sweet guy named Danny from January to May. During this time, hard as it was, I refrained from showing off my job security.

Then last night came along...I had been drinking all night, Jared asked and I obliged. That was the first picture he's taken of my tits all year. (Well, other than new years - but I hadn't met Danny yet). Anyway, I have the picture on my blog somewhere, you'll just have to look to find it!

Ok, I'm drunk and I just answered a ton of comments - I don't know how Mr. U can keep up with all his blog whores, I have a hard enough time with mine! But I love you guys!

One day I will be on a Cops episode.

Mr. Underhill's post on Sunday has inspired my post today along with a paraphrased version on his comments page.

Tits are a wonderful thing.

Last year on a drive home from Dallas, I was pulled over. My mother was with me, I had previously told her not to worry if I got pulled over - I'd take care of it.

Needless to say, when the cop nicked me going 20 over the posted speed, I was pulled over.

He actually had me step to the back of the vehicle. That had never happened to me before but I knew it could work to my advantage. Just as long as he didn't search my car....

Luckily, ants started biting my ankles so I nonchalantly bent over and low and behold, my tit popped out. Kinda like Janet Jackson's did. I was even standing directly in front of his dashboard camera. There was no ticket.

Sunday, Sunday Sunday!

Well, I've made it through the weekend....almost. I've only left the house twice. I gotta tell ya though, it was kinda nice just relaxing all day. I got quite a bit of sun yesterday and now my ass is sunburned. I don't think I'll be posting those pictures. But hey, I did find the pictures from my birthday back in March. I'll share that with you instead.

Blowing Sponge Bob

Doing What I Do Best.....

As Always

Auntie Jenn

I just found out that my little brother, the one who turned 21 last Thursday is expecting a baby with the first girl friend he's ever had. If he's happy then I guess I'm happy for him, I just hate to seem him tied down like that so young.

I guess there's one thing I can be happy about here - despite all the "stuff" I did in my younger years, I'll be the last of my siblings to give mom and dad grandbabies (that's if I EVER do, because I highly doubt it).

My other brother is 24 and has 2 boys, Koby is almost 6 and Adam turns 3 this year.  I'm glad it's not me.  So very glad!

No Such Thing As a Free Lunch.....Maybe Beer Though

I gave a homeless man a dollar today, he was standing right next to me at the red light by my house. I give to charity but I never give money to people on the side of the road. On a typical work day, I normally see 4-5 "homeless" people in the intersections begging for money. This one was holding a small sign that had "Hungry" sprawled across it. Something about this guy made me grab a bill from my wallet; it was sad, he was my age, maybe a little bit older and very obviously homeless. He looked so desperate that it scared me, I knew if I gave him money he would go away. I didn't want him next to me, didn't want to think about his problems or how much I take for granted each day. He was watching me. The light had just turned red, quickly I grabbed a dollar and stuck my hand out the window. And just like that, he crossed the intersection and was gone. He went to Diamond Shamrock, I'm sure he bought beer.

I must say, I

 

 

I must say, I did something this weekend I never thought I would ever do.......I went to a golf tournament. Jared, my roommate called me Friday night and asked if I wanted to go on Saturday to the Shell Houston Open. I was quite surprised that I enjoyed power walking around this big ass golf course all day long. Even more surprised that I liked watching these men play with their sticks and balls and try to make it in that little hole - wait - that's no surprise. It may shock some of you, but yes, the rumor is true....that was me on the driving range today. I was making an attempt, pathetic as it was, to learn how to hit the golf ball so that one day, I too, could join in on a few rounds with my roommates. Let's just say that I need a lot of work. A lot. I think I hit five good balls out of fifty. If that.....and I had a really hard time even connecting with the ball.....who'd of thought I'd have that problem? It's not an excuse, I know that I stink either way, but I might be a left handed golfer, and I was using Jared's clubs. I hit one ball over 130 feet, I think that was good for my first time. I was badly sunburned and generally exhausted yesterday, now my arms are very sore. And yes, my lips hurt real bad. With all this golf, I'm wondering what's happened to the redneck in me? Is it gone since I've moved to the big city? I'm not sure how that works......we do have a donkey in our backyard though.

Fashionable New Shoes

After having my toes operated on, I look rather silly....but they hurt so bad that I don't care.....

Choir Dropout

Well, to be truthful, I didn’t even make the cut in 4th grade for choir…..needless to say, I have a complex when it comes to my singing abilities (or lack thereof). One drunken night, I was pulled up on stage and belted out “Time After Time" , It was a blast and I’d do it again!

See more progress on: Sing at least one karaoke song (in front of people)

Also check out 43 Things , it's a great waste of time during a boring work day!

Bye Bye Condo

Finally, Chuck and I sold the condo. I had to drive down to Clear Lake to sign all the papers and pick up my check. I stopped by the condo before going to the title company, just to make sure everything had been removed. It was kinda sad, my babies grew up there and I do have lots of memories - not all of them bad. Chuck and I went out for a few drinks afterward, I ended up getting pretty darn sick. We had a really nice talk about our new lives and I'm happy that Chuck seems to be doing pretty well. It's taken a long while for him to accept the fact that our relationship has been dead for quite some time. I'm glad to have all that crap taken care of and it's nice to have a little extra money on hand too. I plan on paying for my trip to Amsterdam and Paris with my portion of the proceeds.