I had a really nice weekend, I even learned a few things that I'll share with you.
1. Howard Johnson is no paradise, no matter what the address is. On the upside, while I was in the "lounge" at 8:30 Sunday morning, I asked the attendant when I could get a beer. His reply: You know what city you're in? You can have a beer whenever you want. What did I say to that? I'll take two.
2. Don't drop your full beer. Especially on an irate Indian guy.
Irate Indian Guy(half-yelling): Excuse me, ma'am, you spill beer. You ruin my dress.
I stood there quite confused; this man was not wearing a dress. Neither was his wife. He began again -
IIG: You ruin my dress!! Why you do that? What you do?
I see the spot of beer that "ruined" IIG's "dress". Smaller than a quarter. I had beer all over my ass. IIG pissed me off.
Irate Crazy Bitch: You think I dropped my fucking $5 beer on purpose, buddy? I don't think so. It was an accident, so sorry.
IIG: You ruin my dress.
Apparently this phrase is all the English that IIG can offer. I let him have it.
ICB: What the hell do you want me to do? It was an accident, do you understand that?
At this point I decide to walk away. I had to take my empty beer bottle back to the bar in order to resist smashing it over IIG's head. Or before I slapped that bindi of his wife's forehead.
It is usually hard to make an Indian guy irate. Maybe he was pakistani?
Unless he was a midget of course...midgets of any race become irate in a heartbeat.
Posted by: Mister Underhill | 07/13/2005 at 01:03 AM
Talk about a total non-sequiter post. Wow.
I'm lost, confused, and totally uncertain about what the heck I just read.
Brilliant.
But what the hell are you doing drinking two beers at 8:30 a.m.? I didn't realize football season had started, yet. What are you tailgating?
Posted by: William Young | 07/13/2005 at 07:16 AM
Mr. U: He may very well have been Pakistani; however I like IIG much better than IPG so to me, he shall always be Irate Indian Guy.
William: LMAO! Hillarious! It seems you know me very well...football. Perfect! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Posted by: Jenn | 07/13/2005 at 02:54 PM
You totally should have beaned the guy with the beer bottle. I think being pissed off at someone is a great excuse to smash something over their head. After all, it's not like you'd ever do it if you were happy with them.
Welcome back, we all missed you.
Posted by: Aberrant Templar | 07/13/2005 at 03:52 PM
Wow you really kept your cool, I would have lost it in about 2 seconds after the guy opened his mouth!
Posted by: The Dad | 07/13/2005 at 04:46 PM
AT: I'm glad you see it my way! Thanks for the welcome back!
The Dad: I was surprised that I didn't end up in jail.
Posted by: Jenn | 07/13/2005 at 04:57 PM