My Delusional Reality

One day I will be on a Cops episode.

Mr. Underhill's post on Sunday has inspired my post today along with a paraphrased version on his comments page.

Tits are a wonderful thing.

Last year on a drive home from Dallas, I was pulled over. My mother was with me, I had previously told her not to worry if I got pulled over - I'd take care of it.

Needless to say, when the cop nicked me going 20 over the posted speed, I was pulled over.

He actually had me step to the back of the vehicle. That had never happened to me before but I knew it could work to my advantage. Just as long as he didn't search my car....

Luckily, ants started biting my ankles so I nonchalantly bent over and low and behold, my tit popped out. Kinda like Janet Jackson's did. I was even standing directly in front of his dashboard camera. There was no ticket.

I don't know if I

I don't know if I should be embarrassed about this or not but I enjoyed Mariah's comeback performance on the MTV Movie Awards tonight. Oddly, I thought it sounded pretty damn good.

It was quite the production tonight, when Katie Holmes presented Tom Cruise with some ridiculous reward, she bowed down to him. Come on now, I'll admit, he even had me at hello but give me a break! I think she bowed down to take the emphasis off the fact that he's quite a bit shorter than her.

There was even a reunion of The Breakfeast Club cast - sort of. Molly, Ally and Anthony together again. Ally looked strung out to me, she danced around like she was waiting for her next fix. It's hard to believe that was 20 years ago.

At least Napoleon Dynamite won best movie.

Now that I think of it, I'm embarrassed that I even watched the award show to begin with. What's worse, I watched the Brittany and Kevin reality show beforehand! Ha! Talk about quality programming.

In fairness though I wasn't paying attention the entire time. I've been reading this book that I can't seem to put down. Every woman must read this book. I love it, I may put it under my pillow tonight. The book is titled Cunt and it will forever remain a favorite of mine.

I'm buying copies for all the women in my life tomorrow.

Lance and Our Love Child

I decided to "reply all" to the crazy email I received (see yesterday's post), I'll make sure to give you an update if I receive a reply....or child support.

My Dearest Lance,

I must say it was a nice suprise to hear from you
after so long.  I'm glad you are doing so well,
however, I am  a bit appalled that you would include
me in an email to your family.

What would they think if they knew the truth?  Have
you told them about me, better yet, do they know about
our love child?

Do they know about that drunken, drug-induced night in
the dorms when we professed our love for one another?

Are they aware that you impregnated me and promised to
steal the money for an abortion from your grandmother?
I seriously doubt they know you left me alone to deal
with our problem.

We risked it all that night, put everything on the
line and we have been punished for our sins.  Even
though it seems as though Cain and I are the only ones
suffering.

I was the one kicked out of school.  I'm the one left
penniless to raise our son.  Thankfully Cain looks
like me, you know, you could at least show a photo of
our son to his grandparents.

Our son would like to know his family, especially his
father.  I hope and pray this mission of yours will
give you the insight needed to finally admit your
mistakes and be the father our son deserves.

I need you and our child needs you.  You can rectify
this, I know you can; I believe in you.  I pray every
night that you might once again become the man that I
fell in love with.  Until then...

Much love from your family,
Jess and Cain

Our Beautiful Baby Boy

Where in the world is Elder?

Maybe you guys know who this is....I have no idea - apparently, he thinks he knows me.

Subject:  Fw: THIS IS FROM LANCE

Thought you'd enjoy this.

My Beloved Family!
Im officailly telling everyone right now, pleasewrite me at THIS address from now on. My Myldsmail adress only has a 5 mg. sized mail box and... after a YEAR of 4 to 5 letters a week well it gets a little full! And ive about hit the max... and its honestly a really bad service! So to let you all know please to THIS account from now on!
Well, things in the mission are INTERESTING! Starting off with the BIG news... well tommorrow are changes and for the FIRST time in my entire mission they arnt going to change me or my companion! BUT they are going to.... Call me as DISTRICT LEADER! Yah im pretty excited! My district is going to consist of 3 companionships. I am going to be the one who goes and does the Baptismal Interviews for the people who are getting baptised. I am going to have a PHONE! FINALY! making all your calls from pay phone is really Lame!
And i have to give what are called Capacitations, they are little little lessons every week to my district in our Zone meetings. So yah, its pretty exiciting! Other news... in exactly 10 days i complete a YEAR in the mission! Its CRAZY to think that a year ago i left home and even crazier to think about HOW fast it has gone by and then to think that just that fast im going to be HOME! Its intersting to think all your life... when im 19 im going on a mission and thats kind of...
your limit, you kind ofmake all your plans knowing that your going on a mission, that your goingt o have a 2 year Hole in your life at home... but NOW, when i think about normal life... i dont have ANY limits...there are no more HOLES! Its just... exicitng and kind of nerve racking... good thing ive still got a YEAR to go which is PLENTY of time to get more owrk done!
Which i will DO! Our AREA! Well as you know last week we had 5 baptisms! Which was very exciting! One of the families that got baptised had a brother that didnt get
baptised with them. But he NOW is all intersted and LOVES going to church and we talked to him and taught him and so now he has the Baptismal Date of the 11th... which just happens to be THIS saterday! Its really exicitng because this family has a daughter that is 18 who is just a punk kid, she hates us is always off with her friends drinking and just... not too good of a girl. So now EVERYONE in her family except for her is goingto chruch and stuff. and THAT is when people start to have desires... seeing the progress of everyone else... I really hope we can reach her soon because she needs alot of help!
My companion and i are getting along well, i am kind of... worried because this is the first time ive had to be with a companion for 2 changes, and ussually after one im about ready for a change. The good thing is that i dont feel that way with him yet. So i think things are going to be good. Umm, other news... there really isnt much. Other than... im forgetting english, i seriously am going to have the HARDEST time talking when i get back! I bet the whole world is going to make so much fun of me! But oh well, the cool thing is that i can speak Spanish and YOU ALL CANT! Its really going to be great being able to speak spanish at home, especailly being in Architecture, because ill be able to work well with the construction workers because half of them are mexicans. So ill have plenty of oppertunies to practice. Well thats mostly the big stuff i hope you all know that i love you, that i miss you all and that im
really doing good! I hope everyone is well, i hope everything is under control, i love you all have a great week and ill be abck in the next! I love You All

Your Son, Brother, Grandson
Elder Higgins

He ain't my son, brother or grandson - I know that much!

Sunday, Sunday Sunday!

Well, I've made it through the weekend....almost. I've only left the house twice. I gotta tell ya though, it was kinda nice just relaxing all day. I got quite a bit of sun yesterday and now my ass is sunburned. I don't think I'll be posting those pictures. But hey, I did find the pictures from my birthday back in March. I'll share that with you instead.

Blowing Sponge Bob

Sitting Pretty

 

Originally uploaded by Jennifer Lynn.

 

Jared snapped this picture while I was taking a much needed rest. We walked ALL over Paris, needless to say, I was exhausted every night!

Updated: One Sick Puppy

After going through the several hundred email I had received while I vacation, I stumbeled upon the following about a previous post of mine. You can see the previous post here.

Peach Peterson

wrote:

Hey there Crazy Texas Chick, how are ya? I've been on the internet trying to post the correct story from that of the Associated Press' story on local 6 news. It's simply distorted and twisted and would make me mad had I not known what was going on. My name is Aaron and I was once a student of this teacher.

I am a local of the area concerning the dog controversy. Whether people agree with it or not, I don't care. But this has sparked some heat because things are not reported correctly and I would appreciate it if you all could please help pass the truth along because PETA and other animal rights activists don't have the full story.

This was sparked by the mother(that had an axe to grind with the teacher) of the student that never attended the clinical field trip. I'm a former student of this teacher. I love him and he has taught me a lot whenever he's taught my class. He's a very hands on teacher (don't worry, not with the dog because that was done in a clinic by a licensed veterinarian), who has always been known for taking his students out to measure moss on trees and ecology of streams, etc, rather than textbook work.

This man has provided a hands on education for many of his students whom went on to be doctors, veterinarians, and other jobs relating to the medical field. Well, I'd like to give you the official statement of the Human biology class that went to vivisection of the dog, my cousin being one of the students of this class.

As you read their statement, as given in the Sanpete Messenger of May 18, 2005, please keep in mind that 6/10 of these students are CNAs and the others are going into the medical field, except one I believe.

They wrote:

We write this letter in defense of the teacher, the veterinarian, the administration, and the students that were involved in Gunnison Valley High School’s dog controversy. We, who wrote this letter, are the majority of the students in the human biology class that went and witnessed an exploratory abdominal surgery on a dog.

The rumor mill has thrown out a lot of misinterpreted, totally crazy, and completely wrong rumors about what really occurred. The first accusation was that the parents were unaware of what was going on. That is not true. All of us who attended were in the office when the secretaries called our parents to ask for permission, and our parents had to personally talk to the administration to say that we were allowed to go.

The rumors about what type of dog it was has changed from a rottweiler, to a bassett hound and then changed again to a terrier. The truth is that the dog was not any distinct breed, and must have been a cross between a few different breeds. Another rumor is that our class dissected a live dog. The dog was under anesthesia and was prepped for a sterile surgery. The students were simply observers of an exploratory abdominal surgery on a dog that was to be euthanized because it was violent and unadoptable.

In our human biology class we have been learning about the digestive system. Using a plastic mannequin we had learned all of the parts of the digestive system, but it was not the same as a real life experience seeing the parts functioning and as they really are. We feel that this out-of-classroom lesson was very educational and we learned much because of it.

Several of the kids in our human biology class are CNAs, or going into the medical field. Learning from textbooks gives us information, and videos allow us to see the information working, but neither of those tools allows us to ask questions from someone who had everyday experience.

Yes, we love animals. We know that without animals, the ecosystem would not be able to function properly, but we also understand that they make so many things possible. The first prosthetic heart was tested in a cow; lab rats have been used to test all sorts of medicine. Without scientist’s poking and prodding, America could still be a third world country. Without scientists, the greatest cause of death would still be communicable and preventable diseases.

We are ashamed of how this has been blown out of proportion. News reports stated that several parents and students called and complained, but it was only two students from the class who complained. The rest of the students, along with our parents, full-heartedly support the veterinarian, our principal, and our teacher.

We are saddened that this incident could scar the reputation of all three men and our high school. We write this hoping that people will get the right facts before they attempt to make a judgment that will permanently damage people's lives.

The GVHS human biology class.”

 

So that’s it. The internet has an important role in today’s information for the world. Unfortunately, anybody and their dog can get on “report” and distort truth. I’m just going to different chat boards to put everybody’s mind at ease so they’re not steamed up over nothing and giving the teacher, veterinarian, and administration, the unneeded frustration and threats that they receive daily from animal rights activists.

Thank you and please feel free to copy and paste and pass along this letter to protect the lives and integrity of the educators.

Please respond if you received this letter.

Thank you. 

Aaron

(ps: you have an awesome website)

Hi Aaron,

Thanks for visiting my site, I appreciate your feedback. Sorry for the delayed response; your email was lost among bulk mail. I will update my post, thanks for another point of view.

Jenn