My Delusional Reality

You Have No Power Over Me

Jareth: You remind me of the babe.
Goblin: What babe?
Jareth: The babe with the power.
Different Goblin: What power?
Jareth: The power of voodoo.
Goblin: Who do?
Jareth: You do.
Goblin: Do what?
Jareth: Remind me of the babe.

I love this movie.  Someone needs to buy the DVD for me.

Damn

I just spilled my beer on my keyboard. I'm not sure if I'm more upset that I wasted a perfectly good beer or because I potentially damaged my stupid keyboard.

The Penis Game

Christina and I like to play this game!  In the bar too!   Don't worry you can play as well.

The Game:  Take the title of a movie and change the last word to Penis.

We came up with some funny stuff!  ;)

Bad as it may sound, I think I did best with my "13 Going on Penis".   I'm also very fond of my "Man on Penis".  But that's just me.

We had a night full of penis:

Sleeping With The Penis
A Beautiful Penis
Supersize Penis
The Longest Penis
Dirty Rotten Penis
Me, Myself and Penis
The Last Penis

What can you come up with?    ;)

Let Your Star Shine

 

I am now the PROUD owner of the latest and greatest in footwear accessories!

I was disappointed that BOGO was a no go; I still bought 2 pairs though.

I had to get my woman some shoes too  damn it - even if they were from Payless! ;)

Without Further Adieu

Those Lips!

That's MY girl!!

So Very Comfy

Good Times!

Oh yes, good times indeed!  As always, I had a blast visiting with Christina this weekend.  It was pretty hot - 3 bitches in bed together...Ruby had to be in the middle.  She turned out to be quite the attention slut.  ;)  I love her though; Christina give Ruby a big hug and kiss for me.  I miss my girls already!

Have Fun Bitches!

I'm going to see my gal.....maybe I'll be nice and post pictures when I come back!  :)

Alright

Sweet Dreams

Today was so long....uuugghh....I didn't even leave the office until 7:30.  Now it's late and I'm tired and I have to get up early.

Plus, I'm in a bad mood.  I know how you boys feel....it really sucks when a chick leads you on - and then nuthin'.  Women...sheesh!  And to think I was considering making the switch once and for all.

Damn, I'm outta beer - that means it's bedtime.

Killer Pussy

The other night I had planned on getting in bed early but it didn't happen.  I was lounging on the couch watching Everybody Loves Raymond, when Kitty jumped up on my chest.  We have two rules at my house: 1. No sex on the couch and 2.) Never look Kitty in the eyes.  Go ahead and laugh, I am so very serious.  Danny can vouch for that.  In fact, we need a sign on the front of the house that says "Beware of Attack Cat", but I digress.

Kitty jumped on me, she may or may not have been high, and she started rubbing her head all over my arm and chest.  I was in fear of my life.  I froze up, beads of sweat started forming on my brow and my heart started racing.  I was so vunerable; my juglar was exposed, I was at Kitty's mercy.

I sat there for what seemed like hours and in an act of pure idiocy I reached out and pet Kitty.  It was an act of God, for once, she did not attack me.  She let me pet her for 37 minutes.  37 whole minutes.  Then she hissed and lunged at me.  And my life flashed before my eyes, I sat there motionless praying for her to move.  I thought I was going to die.  All of a sudden she jumped up and ran away.  That was a very, very close call.

Killer Pussy

Guts and Balls

My boss just sent me this email:

The difference between GUTS and BALLS:

GUTS: arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met at the door by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS: coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."