One day I will be on a Cops episode.

Mr. Underhill's post on Sunday has inspired my post today along with a paraphrased version on his comments page.

Tits are a wonderful thing.

Last year on a drive home from Dallas, I was pulled over. My mother was with me, I had previously told her not to worry if I got pulled over - I'd take care of it.

Needless to say, when the cop nicked me going 20 over the posted speed, I was pulled over.

He actually had me step to the back of the vehicle. That had never happened to me before but I knew it could work to my advantage. Just as long as he didn't search my car....

Luckily, ants started biting my ankles so I nonchalantly bent over and low and behold, my tit popped out. Kinda like Janet Jackson's did. I was even standing directly in front of his dashboard camera. There was no ticket.

Comments

[Danny]

my dick popped out at a water park once when i was 7 or 8. i was going down a water slide when the water pushed my baggy swimsuit up over my belly and exposed my vital organ. i didnt have to pay.

[Aberrant Templar]

Alright, this pisses me off (not really but I'll pretend).

See, if you ladies go into a restaurant or business wearing a tight little white tee-shirt that shows off your midriff and highlights your curves you’ll get prompt, friendly service. If you walk into a bar in a low cut shirt where the top of your boob is practically falling out you’ll end up not having to pay for a single drink.

BUT

If I walk into a bar in low cut pants with the bottom of my nut sack hanging out, someone will call the cops.

It’s just not fair. Damn double standards.

[Jenn]

AT: Not always the case..let me explain. I went out to a local gay bar this past Fridat night. I was dressed cute and all that jazz. I went to the bar to buy my own drink and the bartender ignored me. Several men stepped up to the bar, the bartender looked at me, then them and served them first. I was last on the gay bartender's priority list. Granted, he was gay, but still. ;)

[Aberrant Templar]

So what you're saying is that if I go to a gay bar with the lower half of my joy sack hanging out I'll get the same treatment that you get flaunting your boobies in a non-gay bar?

*scratches chin and ponders*

Either way, you have to admit that there’s a huge double standard here. Your breasts are always in at the height of fashion while my scrotum is more of a seasonal style.

[Brian]

No, boobs are beautiful, a scrotum looks like leftover elbow skin. Seriously, ever take a good look at it? Now compare that to a any part of a girl, they win hands down. (depending on the girl of course)

[Mister Underhill]

I think I'm going to become a cop, or at least get the uniform for roleplaying purposes....

[Jenn]

AT: Ok, you got me - your balls are only fashionable seasonally. ;)

It is a double standard - damn, I forgot what we were discussing - a hot chick with huge tits just walked in my office.

Brian: I've had a look or two over the years and I must say some are better than other. And, the same applies to women. All I know is I would win - hands down! ;)

Mr. U: I still like the way you think - maybe I can get my handcuffs past airport security! LOL

[William Young]

Jaysus, Jenn, you go from "cunt" to "tits" in consecutive blog posts. And this isn't a porn blog!

Shweet.

Or is it a porn blog? Maybe I'm not paying enough attention...

[Jenn]

Hey William, just wait until today's post! ;)

Maybe I'll slap an ad banner on the side and truly make the switch to a porn blog. I'll await feedback before proceeding. ;)

[Aberrant Templar]

Yeah, don’t testicles look sad and pathetic? Just dangling there, isolated from the rest of the body. They’re lonely because they never get to go anywhere interesting and only have each other for company. They spend all day sweating indoors, only going outside for the toilet or shower. When they do go out in public, people point and scream and call the police. That has to do wonders for their self-esteem.
Worst of all, should they get to go out and meet someone, they usually end up waiting outside while the tenant that lives above them gets to have all the fun. It’s like they get invited to all the parties but they have to wait in the car. Forgotten, in the rain.
It’s so sad.

[Aberrant Templar]

Apparently your blog doesn't like my ' symbol.

I'm hurt.

[Jenn]

AT: I would imagine it's hard when your closest neighbors are a prick and an asshole. Har har!

I implemented a secret code deep within my blog template solely to wreak havoc upon your comments.

You should be honored to have this privilege bestowed upon you.

[Aberrant Templar]

Yes dear, especially when the prick and asshole have more fun than you and there’s no way you can move out.

Oh yeah?! Well … well … um … YOUR MOM. Yeah, beat that wit.

I am very honored. I am also in favor of porn … and boobies.

If you could combine the two on this blog I would be forever grateful. Not that this isn’t a good blog already, mind you, it’s just that, as we’ve established, boobies make everything better.

[Jenn]

AT: Your Mom goes to college!

Since boobies and porn make this world a better place, I may have to add them to my blog....for the greater good of the blog world of course.

[Aberrant Templar]

Jen, my dear, you've made my day.

Your blog template, on the other hand, seems determined to piss me off. It hates my quotation marks, apostrophes, and periods.

Of course, who doesn't hate apostrophes?

Fucking apostrophes.

[Jenn]

AT: Glad to help out!

I must admit though, I turned you in to The Apostrophe Protection Society - you better watch out - these guys mean business!!!

[Aberrant Templar]

Let's not get ahead of ourselves dear. I don't see any boobs yet.

...Apostrophe Protection Society? BAhahahahahahahaha

[Kris]

Okay, I'm a little late on this one, but I think that this post deserves a reenactment as a video post.

[Brian]

Jenn, how can you have a porn blog if there are no boobies on site? I want my money back.

[Jenn]

Kris and AT: Ok, you got me. Believe me when I say that I'll get right on that.

Brian: Your check is in the mail!

[Kris]

Somehow your assurances aren't too assuring.

[Jenn]

Boys: Maybe THIS will work for now!

[Mister Underhill]

WHOA

[Jenn]

WHOA is right, oh yes, WHOA is right.

[Aberrant Templar]

*grins from ear to ear*

Well that made my afternoon. Way to hide it in the comments though ;-)