What are Friends For?

My best friend sent me this email to prepare me for my vacation - this is sure to come in handy!

Useful French Phrases

General chit-chat

"You have a chive on your tooth."
"Vous avez de la ciboulette sur votre dent"
(voo za - vay de la see - boo - let ser votr den)

"Would you stop spitting on me while you're talking!"
"Voulez-vous cesser de me cracher dessus pendant que vous parlez!"
(voo - lay voo se - say de me cra - shay de - su pen - dan que voo parl - ay)

"Are you drunk?"
"Est-ce que vous êtes ivre?"
(es - ke voo zet eevr)

"You're a complete moron"
"Tu es completement debile"
(tu eh com - plet - e - men de - beel)

"You get on my nerves
"Tu me peles le jonc"
(tu me pel - e le zhonc)

Helping Others

"What did your last slave die of?"
"De quoi est mort votre dernier esclave?"
(de kwa eh mor votr der - nee - er es - klahv)

"I'd help you, but I don't like you."
"Je vous aurais bien aide, mais je ne vous aime pas."
(zhe voo zaw - ray bien ai - de may zhe ne voo zaim - e pah)

"Do it yourself."
"Faites-le vous-même"
(fay - teh le voo mehm)

"Stop bothering me!"
"Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade"
(parl a mon cul, ma teht eh ma - lahd)

Dealing with Parents of children

"My God your children are ugly!"
"Mon Dieu, que vos enfants sont laids"
(Mon dyer ke voe zen - fant son lay)

"Your children are very attractive. Are they adopted?"
"Vos enfants sont très beaux. Ils sont adoptes?"
(vo zen - fant son tray boh. Il sont a - dop - te)

"How much for the little girl?"
"Combien pour la fillette"
(com - byen poor la fill - et)

Comments

[-G.D.]

Thanks for the public service...much appreciated, but I find it incomplete.

Could you add a "get some sex while on the road section"??

- Would you like to go back to my hotel room and get laid?

- How about a quickie in the bathroom?

- How big are you?

Thanks!

[Jenn]

GD: I think you're right - those phrases will come in handy MUCH more than the others! :)

[Danny]

A guy I work with was telling me about his flight to Paris. He said the man in front of him farted the whole way there. He dealt with it but his wife kept letting out "Oh...Hell Noooo!"'s...hope your flight is more enjoyable than his baby.

[Jenn]

You and me both baby!