My Delusional Reality

This Can't Be Easy

A Question.....

Or Statement???

Sure About That?

Oh Yeah? Not according to these guys......

Full-Service Hardware Store

Who Doesn't?

Men and Women

Why Women Have Two Hands

Why Men Have Two Hands

Sick Day

Yup, I did it. I called in sick for the first time in a very long while. I have a legitimate reason too, I feel like total shit. Danny can tell you that I looked like shit when I woke up this morning. So, I've sat in front of my computer all day goofing off, much like a regular work day, so I don't feel so bad about missing. I wanted to actually get a few things done around the house, but no, all I managed to do was watch Montel. It was a good show too! I lucked out today, Sylvia Brown was his guest. I'm usually not a "believer" but something about that lady turns me into one. The stuff she comes up with is creepy. I tried to read one of her books once, but I couldn't take it seriously and stopped reading it. Watching her on Montel is enough for me. I guess today wasn't a total loss, I did manage to do some work on my website - that took me all damn morning too. It's family night but I'm not feeling up to doing anything, I'll more than likely stay home and watch Idol.

Mary Kay...the Devil's Advocate

Listen up ladies, do not approach me at the mall, grocery store or office supplier, I will not sell your makeup. I will not sign up for your information session and I will no longer give you my business card. I am not the gal you are looking for, the highlight of my day is not picking out the perfect eyeshadow to match my blouse. Sometimes, my blush and lipstick don't even match (Gasp)!

Crazy Chick

Jared has a crazy friend. Very crazy. I'll go out on a limb and even call her a stalker. I've met her in passing (passing from his bedroom to the front door). Joey has only met her once before. After Danny and I left Einstein's on Friday night, Jared's friend came over to the table that Joey, Manuel, Ivey and Matt all sat at. She proceeded to climb on top of the table and hump the air. According to Joey she was humping everything in site, bar stools, walls, poles - basically anything in reach of her longing loins. I wasn' t there so I'm not exactly sure what happened, all I know is that when I got home Saturday morning, she was passed out on the couch, Matt and Ivey were in my bed, Jared was gone and Joey and Manuel were sleeping. Ivey woke up and asked first thing - Is that crazy girl still here? I told her I guess so, that chick is passed out on the couch. Ivey says, "Oh my god, that girl is a freak!! Look at the bite mark she put on my neck, she wouldn't leave me alone. She even tried ripping my clothes off." I was shocked, she seemed like a nice, sweet girl. I had to leave for lunch with my friend, so I left while crazy girl was still passed out.

I had a nice lunch and went to visit my family then I went back home. Crazy girl was still passed out. Gerald is at our house. Crazy Chick and Crazy Gerald start to get it on. Crazy Gerald has a crazy story about Crazy Chick, sanitary napkins, a very, very dirty girl and even dirtier sheets. I'll spare you all the details, but wow....this is one very naughty gal!!

Over the course of the weekend, she wanted to do Jared, Joey and Manuel, Ivey and Matt, and Gerald. I just want to know what was wrong with me.....Crazy Chick never once hit on me. I'd have turned her down, but I'm disappointed that I didn't even make the cut......NOT!!

Service With a Smile

Happy Birthday Baby!!

Today is my best friend's birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Shelly, I love you girl!!

We have been through so many things together. From Almond Joy and Heath Bar addictions to those damn Rolos and Cherry Jolly Ranchers. Every single time I hear "Can't find a better man" on the radio, it instantly takes me back to my sophomore year. Shell and I would drive around in her old red cavalier and sing at the top of our lungs. It's been quite a trip, nothing would have been the same without her.

It's been over 10 years since we met and I love you more each and every day. I hope that life is treating you just as good as it's been treating me lately. Everyone deserves someone like her in their life and I'm very thankful I have her!